Not that I can really relate to this, but my sister is getting married. Tonight. She and my new “brother-in-law” are eloping to Vegas. In a chapel. There may be an Elvis, I’m not sure about that.

Tony and I went to a casino last week. We lost $200 dollars. Spent hours at the slot machines waiting for the waitresses to bring us free whiskey. Tony smoked cigars. I fought with the old ladies who were trying to use more than one machine at a time.

A chapel is not like a casino. Well, that’s my impression anyway. I’ll bet my sister is having more luck than I did. And you know she is far prettier than anyone you’d find camped out at the casino. Hell, she’s far prettier than anyone you would find anywhere.

Congratulations sister! Make me proud. And make some love, I think that is called for at times like this. Just no babies yet, please. I’m not ready for that.

By the power vested in me I now pronounce you…