Author Archives: German Jones

About German Jones

I am a librarian by day; I do all sorts of things at night.

Oct-sober

Yesterday I lost control. I started drinking whiskey on an empty stomach and didn’t stop. I was sad and lonely and self-medicating and I ended up causing more tension with Thom and doing damage to my body. I need to … Continue reading

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Solstice 

Woke up early. Settled my emotions. Accomplished everything on my to do list including car maintenance, hair cut, just a few glasses of wine, and cleaning up. Had a good conversation. A nice trip with Thom to the airport for … Continue reading

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Today

The beginning of this year, January 1st to be exact, I got some acute illness and spent the day vomiting and laying in bed. On that day, I didn’t have a drink. Now over 6 months later, I have achieved … Continue reading

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Release

Last Thursday afternoon, after a year + of anxiety, stress, arguing, counseling, denial, and drinking…. Thom finally confessed to his infidelity. And what a confession: using slight of hand to have me focused on one man, he’d actually also been … Continue reading

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Real talk 

I’ve been waking up with crusty eyes.  I’ve been going to sleep alone.  My body is swollen.  Tonight he said he didn’t want to give me a hug.  We talk about (his) loss or pain.  I drink mine away.  He’s … Continue reading

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Again

What is this? Silence. Exhaustion. Distance. I want to try and cross the distance. But it also seems like I must be the bridge that we walk across. Is it worth it? Am I fighting a lost cause? My fear … Continue reading

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Tonight

This cycle needs to end. 

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