Category Archives: journal

Solstice 

Woke up early. Settled my emotions. Accomplished everything on my to do list including car maintenance, hair cut, just a few glasses of wine, and cleaning up. Had a good conversation. A nice trip with Thom to the airport for … Continue reading

Posted in journal | Leave a comment

Today

The beginning of this year, January 1st to be exact, I got some acute illness and spent the day vomiting and laying in bed. On that day, I didn’t have a drink. Now over 6 months later, I have achieved … Continue reading

Posted in journal | Leave a comment

Release

Last Thursday afternoon, after a year + of anxiety, stress, arguing, counseling, denial, and drinking…. Thom finally confessed to his infidelity. And what a confession: using slight of hand to have me focused on one man, he’d actually also been … Continue reading

Posted in journal | Leave a comment

Real talk 

I’ve been waking up with crusty eyes.  I’ve been going to sleep alone.  My body is swollen.  Tonight he said he didn’t want to give me a hug.  We talk about (his) loss or pain.  I drink mine away.  He’s … Continue reading

Posted in journal | Leave a comment

Again

What is this? Silence. Exhaustion. Distance. I want to try and cross the distance. But it also seems like I must be the bridge that we walk across. Is it worth it? Am I fighting a lost cause? My fear … Continue reading

Posted in journal | Leave a comment

Tonight

This cycle needs to end. 

Posted in journal | Leave a comment

Routine

Supplanting another’s consciousness is a delicate balance of exploring and yielding. Because all memories are stored in meaningful layers within the folds of the brain, I do not have access to the entirety of  my new past all at once. … Continue reading

Posted in draft, drinking, excavator, journal, talk therapy, writing | Leave a comment