Category Archives: journal

Anxiety

In keeping with my habit of using chemicals to fix things… today I began taking Lexapro again on the advice of my doctor and therapist. (And to the delight of Thom.) The first time I took this medication was 12 … Continue reading

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The Beast in Me

“The beast in me Is caged by frail and fragile bars Restless by day And by night rants and rages at the stars God help the beast in me The beast in me Has had to learn to live with … Continue reading

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Solstice 

Woke up early. Settled my emotions. Accomplished everything on my to do list including car maintenance, hair cut, just a few glasses of wine, and cleaning up. Had a good conversation. A nice trip with Thom to the airport for … Continue reading

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Today

The beginning of this year, January 1st to be exact, I got some acute illness and spent the day vomiting and laying in bed. On that day, I didn’t have a drink. Now over 6 months later, I have achieved … Continue reading

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Release

Last Thursday afternoon, after a year + of anxiety, stress, arguing, counseling, denial, and drinking…. Thom finally confessed to his infidelity. And what a confession: using slight of hand to have me focused on one man, he’d actually also been … Continue reading

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Real talk 

I’ve been waking up with crusty eyes.  I’ve been going to sleep alone.  My body is swollen.  Tonight he said he didn’t want to give me a hug.  We talk about (his) loss or pain.  I drink mine away.  He’s … Continue reading

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Again

What is this? Silence. Exhaustion. Distance. I want to try and cross the distance. But it also seems like I must be the bridge that we walk across. Is it worth it? Am I fighting a lost cause? My fear … Continue reading

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