As I mentioned a couple months ago, see Deviated Septum, it was decided that I should undergo surgery to fix persistant problems inside of my head. And that time has finally come, in fact, it is happening in about 9 hours from now. I just wanted to take some time to reflect upon the possible negative things that could arise:

1. Hemorrhage–incidence 1 in 200
2. Cerebral Spinal Fluid Lead–incidence 1 in 500
3. Infection–incidence 1 in 500
4. Intraorbital Hemorrhage–incidence 1 in 100
5. Eye injury–incidence 1 in 1,000
6. Loss of ability to Smell–incidence 1 in 1,000
7. Voice changes–incidence 1 in 200
8. Numbness–incidence 1 in 200

Besides these main 8 there are minor possibilities of crusting and leakage, both of which seem to be pretty much guaranteed.

Now a look at the “incidence” factors would seem to some to be enough to allay anxieties because most seem so rare. My problem is that when I was in the 5th grade and had my tonsils removed I was the 1 in 1,000 (or was it 10,000?) who had problems with bleeding from the scars in my throat and had to be stat-flighted to another city because I was vomiting up profuse amounts of blood. So am I worried? Yeah, a bit.

But more than likely everything will go fine, my face will heal in about a week and for the rest of my life I won’t be plagued by the annoying sinus infections and problems with flying that I currently deal with almost daily. So really these are risks worth taking. Quality of life risks, I suppose you would say.

But if the worst case scenarios do occur, you (and I, really) should take comfort in knowing that they happened in the best possible circumstances. Because I am well loved by my friends and family. I have received many well-wishes and phone calls today pumping me up and broadcasting good vibrations. And they all mean so much that it is hard not to feel a little bit happy in the face of excess worry.

Especially with my number one secret weapon, my boyfriend, who has so graciously taken off the weekend from work so he can be with me and care for me as I go through this ordeal. There is no way to thank him enough for the love and support he already gives me every day of my life, let alone the extra helping I’ll be getting this weekend. I love you, Mister Boyfriend, and am forever thankful for all that you do for me in my life. I hope you know that, and I am glad that everyone else knows, too.

So what are the potential complications of tomorrow’s surgery? This warm feeling that I have at the moment, the recognition of love. I’ll take it.