lane says all i have to do is start writing for 15 minutes. perhaps she is right. however, i feel that if i just allow the mind to roll that long i may stray too far and it will all fall apart. but if it helps then i suppose it will be okay. tonight i experienced a CRAZY night with my fellow co-workers, and then i came home and had a fight with my beloved. i’m sure i am culpable in both, but i am also sure that i am partially the victim. but then lane says the important part is that i keep writing no matter what and so i just allow my fingers to tap and touch with a certain immunity. do i feel guilt?? sure, that is the story of my life. would i change if i could? again the answer is a resounding “yes!!!”. but “them’s the brakes.” this is me and sometimes i suppose me isn’t so perfect. my mind is filled with too much black thought. and i deal with it the only way i know how. so i still feel like i will write for fifteen minutes no matter what this month, and perhaps it may be a whole lot of this kind of stuff. if so, are you gonna leave me too? i sure hope not. we’ll see… we will see.