i stood there before them blinking more than usual. trying to keep their voice from entering my ears. i could feel some gentle prods and scratches down below. this did not seem to be happening. one of them told me that they knew. it was useless to deny what i had done. the probing continued despite my tightened stance. there would be tests and testimonies. measurements and samples. i would be exposed, they said. i am not hiding. but what i did was wrong, they continued. the proof remained inside of me. on top of me. the truth could be excavated. prosecuted. in fact, they asserted, the only thing that remained was to know his name. who had helped me do these things. they wanted to know. who left this evidence they collected from my body? i clenched my eyelids and changed position yet again. i would not allow them access. they would not get that deep. perhaps, they replied. but you won’t do these things again. we have you now, they claimed. our accusations can’t be expelled. i held my breath. waited. i had already gone further than they could. he would be as safe in me as he had been before. their evisceration would be incomplete. this may be true, they added. but at least we will have you in the end.