Day two was difficult for me. I did manage to write my first 4 pages, but I also fear that this afternoon I may have to go back and edit it down to about 2. I know that the NaNoWriMo people tell me that I should simply write and save editing for December, but I don’t think that I am the kind of boy who can work when he isn’t satisfied. And that is why yesterday took me so long to get started. First I needed a concept and even a working title. I needed a bit more perspective about the different potentials a novel might have. And I needed to build up my confidence.

So the writing day began in the shower where I conceived of some metaphoric images that would help me set word to page: water. But not just water, the changing physical state of water. How water develops or changes and yet its core remains the same. And that was how I hit upon my title: States of Matter. I would deal with the transformation of my subject, of his time as a fluid liquid person or perhaps a static solid person. I would get a chance to delve into my own experiences with water.

And therein is the real issue, the meat of my conversation with my sister the other day: am I writing fiction inspired by autobiographical instances? Or am I writing memoir? And if I add on to that the context I was reading about in Kundera’s book: am I dealing with the character thinking about his circumstance or dealing with the character reacting to them? Insight or polemic? Psychological or Philosophical? And what will be my plot?

That’s about where I am. Today during work I need to try and sort some of this stuff out. I am mostly concerned with the narrative voice and whether or not I will allow myself to write in first person. I am a little afraid if I do that I won’t be able to get myself out of the book.

Ugh…