Bunny called me this evening and she was looking for a book.  In actuality, I would say she was searching for a memory but if it came in the form of a book she would be pleased.  It was something about a monkey, a coconut cake, and an apartment in New York.  “I think his name was Wappie,” she explained.

I spent a few minutes online and located a mention of this “book.” Turns out it actually was a story in an old Childcraft anthology.  This knowledge, along with the title (Wappie’s Surprise Cake), made her most giddy.  She was validated, relieved, and hopeful that now she could get her hands on it.  Not so much the actual need to hold it, but rather the joy of having been reunited with the possibility to experience it again.

Similarly, I also was reminded of an idea that has me most excited.  Bunny mentioned that she located an old friend of mine on Facebook.  I haven’t spoken to him in over 7 years, despite the fact that I recently visited his country.  I’ve now contacted him and am also feeling the joy of possibility.  Who knows if we’ll reunite and actually hangout again?  What seems most important at the moment is that the possibility is still alive.

In the past decade I have experienced several deaths.  Mixed in between has been a smattering of losses and finds, break-ups and new loves.  The thing that is scary about death is the finality; the fact that I can’t call up Mr. Jones or visit my grandmother or even e-mail my former professor any more fills me with longing and anxiety.  There is no more future possibility, just lovely memories and inspiration.

Tonight I feel acutely the desire to create things that may last, that offer the possibility to be re-read and re-discovered.  Immortalizing some folks and ideas may very well decrease the longing and anxiety.

Oh to nibble on the madeleine…