Author Archives: German Jones

“Give yourself over to absolute pleasure,” Tony sings in the shower. I can hear him clearly even though the door is closed to the bathroom and I’m hiding in the bedroom, under the bed. Tony is loud and Tony is … Continue reading →

Well, sometimes I’m bombaloo.

Tony, usually confused and always inappropriate, just stumbled in the room. “Is that all that you are going to wear today?” A bit defensive, I replied, “What’s wrong with it?” “You gotta be flashy, baby. It’s the 5th of Cinco. … Continue reading →

Instead of drinking coffee in the morning, I think I’m going to switch to soy milk, or perhaps white-out. That way it won’t be so obvious when I spill all over the white kitchen counter and/or floor every gosh-damn morning.

Despite warnings that it is unhealthy to read other blogs besides TWAT, I decided to branch out a bit today and see what the rest of the world has to say. I stumbled upon a lovely little site, the thoughts … Continue reading →

Tony asked me if I would “…bite the hand that feeds you?” I replied, “Will you stay down on your knees?” Inspiration is hard to come by these days. A lot of quoting and alluding, but very little actual writing. … Continue reading →

until i have time to write my own words, i just want to say something to you, but once again i’m going to let wallace stevens say it for me: Light the first light of evening, as in a room … Continue reading →

It was just pointed out to Tony and I that our little blog’s title spells out “twat.” We thought we’d take a moment to reflect on this rich legacy. As a noun, “twat” means: 1: a man who is a … Continue reading →

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People always ask me, “How can you be so skinny and live so phat?”