Category Archives: Uncategorized

Someone please grant me the ability to not give a fuck. Although I don’t accept the way things are, I am currently not looking for courage to change them. I just want them to leave me alone. 

So if you remove the God-ness of the regular 12 step process then the next reasonable step is to “making a searching and fearless moral inventory” of yourself. Since my last post I have been doing just that. And I … Continue reading →

We admit that we are powerless… Hmmm. I think that is true. Powerless. Against myself? My mind? Tonight I can honestly say I am an empty shell.  For days now I come home and sit, or sleep, or divert my … Continue reading →

The good thing about having a new place to live is that it still feels fresh when you pace within the walls all day long. Floor to ceiling windows is a step up from yellow wallpaper. (never be clever?) And … Continue reading →

crowded train like a hug? well at the moment, as these folks head to the Cubs game, it is like a hug from jabba the hut.

My mind would tell you that I crave the convenience and access. But the truth is that I like the isolation of being lost in the crowd. When you are surrounded only by trees it feels like drowning. In a … Continue reading →

One of the most desolate songs (per my memory only) on the Smiths’ The Queen is Dead album is the track “There is a Light that Never goes Out.” It is sonically depressing and lyrically about escape: “Take me out … Continue reading →

So as you have gathered in the last few posts, I am seeing a counselor to discuss (initially) issues of anxiety and (as it seems to be playing out) depression/OCD/you-name-it. To aid and abet this process I’ve decided to digest … Continue reading →

woman in street, pleading, with a broke-down beat-up car parked halfway off the road/halfway on the sidewalk.  gestures with her hands at any one of a line of cars waiting at the light, locked safely in their cars and the … Continue reading →

Today in counseling 2.0 I discussed my own feelings of inadequacy and their possible genesis in my youthful stint in the “gifted” program and my idolization of my sister. The plot thickened and kept me enthralled all the way to … Continue reading →