Juicy

How do you not know? I am still her. But she had such long hair and in the summertime it felt as though she might burst with all of those red juices. I did love pomegranates but their seeds…. Wait, it is time. But no! It can’t be! There is still much to do and I just arrived and what do you think of this dress you know I wore it just for you. My eyes are napping but no I am certain we must now go because they are waiting. My friends. My family. But your legs! You cannot move! Let me go. I will see that everything is right. She pauses long enough I know that she is sleeping and I am not sure if I should disturb the morning and if she would know the difference and then I hear them. Through the sunnied slats they growl and moan.

My hands are not yet used to this old country but they do not care about such things. I find red flesh caught up momentarily in the cold place and I know this was her plan all along. I have come here for her and so I reach inside to secure to choice cuts and then clutch them to my breast. If this warmth can penetrate perhaps I can save her. But they still sound so hungry I think they need me. No I have it and now it is done.

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Serendipity

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I made this mix about 4 years ago… and it was good back then. But I have to admit that with some time, some love, and a few substitutions it is ready to take you and make you a stah! As always… enjoy!

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German Thinks He Can Dance

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As much as I have loved the show for the actual dancing and some of the beautiful (boys!) dancers… So You Think You Can Dance has loomed large for me mostly for the music. The kickass choreographers very often pick kickass songs to make up their moves, and herein is collected some of my favorite discoveries from this platform. Enjoy!

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The Person In The Room Wishes To Be Left Alone

Shut tight
Secure behind a door
Under the dark
It begins rhythmically
Like notes tapped on a piano
Hammer striking, ribbon fluttering
My story begins.

I have wanted to tell
For so long
To run and touch
Fuzziness through fingers
Out beyond the water
You could be
Standing simultaneously here.

Tolling bell,
Release and return,
A field of white
Invaded,
Strikes and shadows
Characters dancing
Aligned.

Coming out
Inside I play
Heavy handed
A cigarette
Those I have kissed
I am searching.

Mistakes corrected
Stepping backwards
White on black
Or stricken through
These pages pile
Or lay wrinkled.

How to leave
And will you look?
Traveling along
Having tried to speak
I go and remain
Words written
And lived.

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Loss of Innocence

George and I have been working together now for 6 years. This latest collabo has been strung out because he just finished his dissertation and I haven’t felt like writing. The concept is “loss of innocence” and it was commissioned by a couple who sing and play sax or something like that.

My charge was to deal with the topic in any way I saw fit and I began to fixate on all the possibilities. I imagined myself, or my imagined self, or people whom I knew and it mostly seemed to be potentially sexual in nature and not totally what the project seemed to have in mind. And then George introduced me to Barbara Newhall Follett (Check her out!) and I was able to merge her story with my obsession with Margot Tennenbaum and and the youthful figure of my sister. The result is a little poemy number I am calling “Home Row”.

Up next is more text to fill in the gaps, or the backgrounds, and I have determined to form it as a narrative one of those figures may have written. Keep coming back for more updates.

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Dowager

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So there I was with nothing left but some song. But it was a brilliant song, and I kept listening and soon other ladies voices rose up to harmonize. These are some great songs. You definitely should enjoy.

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Portmanteau

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Inspiration works for me serendipitously. I see something or hear something and it sticks with me until I see or hear something else and this goes on and on until my mind is all stuck together with things I can’t help but let out. And so it goes with some of these songs, the title of this mix, and its illustration (harajuku rockabilly!!!!). So download this mix, put on some headphones, and take a listen to the inside of my head.

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Day Whatever

So if you remove the God-ness of the regular 12 step process then the next reasonable step is to “making a searching and fearless moral inventory” of yourself. Since my last post I have been doing just that. And I determined that a lack of discipline in certain areas was causing an extreme depletion of self-esteem and subsequent anxious turmoil. So lately I am trying to focus on asserting some discipline. I finished a draft of the latest piece for George, I have skipped my usual indulgences, and at the moment I’m listening to music and just doing some “work”. It feels good. I plan to maximize those things that continue to feel good in this way. Supposedly it only takes 21 days…

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Day One

We admit that we are powerless… Hmmm. I think that is true. Powerless. Against myself? My mind? Tonight I can honestly say I am an empty shell.  For days now I come home and sit, or sleep, or divert my attention in some useless or self-nullifying way. I can’t stop just sitting and watching life go by. Feeling my belly bulge. I do not follow-through with commitments to myself or others, I merely wait for them to add to my guilt and pour a bit more salt… I’ve used this line in something I wrote for George (oy… I need to get back to writing!): I am at a loss.

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German Goes to Hollywood

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I once heard that if a young person smokes, the nicotine threads itself through the fibers of that young mind and changes the way the brain develops and becomes a part of how he thinks. Whether or not that is biologically accurate, that process describes how music has affected my mental processes and experience of the world.  Certain songs have quite simply taken control of my brain. The opening track to this mix, Taco’s take on Puttin’ on the Ritz, is one such song that entered my little 5 year-old brain and has never left. The cheesy syths, the tap-dance interlude, and that quirky voice kept me constantly turning the radio dial hoping to hear it again and again.

And that describes how this mix was born. I was innocently listening to my iPod on shuffle and Taco began to sing to me and I was immediately hypnotized and began to gather a playlist of equally intoxicating songs (to me) that fell under the umbrella of cheesy dance songs. It spans three decades, and includes some of the standout tracks from 2010 that I’ve been obsessed with despite the fact that they aren’t cheesy at all. This mix was compiled for my friend Pawan who just celebrated a birthday, but I decided that it was awesome enough to share with the rest of the internets. Enjoy!

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