“I think ‘aura’ is something that only somebody else can see, and they only see as much of it as they want to. It’s all in the other person’s eyes. You can only see an aura on people you don’t know very well or don’t know at all. I was having dinner the other night with everybody from my office. The kids at the office treat me like dirt, because they know me and they see me every day. But then there was this nice friend that somebody had brought along who had never met me, and this kid could hardly believe that he was having dinner with me. Everybody else was seeing me, but he was seeing my ‘aura’.” — Andy Warhol
Today marks the end of my month. I’m staking my claim on the past 30 days because it really did seem to get a lot of things going for me. Beginning with my own attempts to participate in the various national writing months, featuring the election of Obama and the subsequent cultural evolvings, and ending tonight (last night?) with a night out in which Thom and I got to spend some quality time with P and B. (more on that in a minute)
On writing: after midnight strikes and November disappears it will be settled that I did NOT complete the 50,000 words towards the novel. Besides the fact that it would be kind of satisfying to have that many pages under my belt, I really don’t mind at all. I have done so many preliminary things toward writing that the whole process no longer seems alien. Now I just need to write more regularly. And in a less anxious state.
Otherwise, November found me in quite a rut. I have become very ambivalent about my current work. And at the same time I have become very aware of how good the practical/financial benefits are (and may continue to be) and that makes me feel a bit trapped. I think this situation will continue to develop so I’ll leave it here.
And that brings me back to tonight. P called me to settle on plans for us to get together. He and Thom had already discussed some options for plans and I was doing my best to facilitate decisions. It was funny because when P mentioned the options of us heading his way or him heading over here he assumed I would pick to stay in. My habit has been to favor the homebody routine because it is easier. I like sitting here with Thom. Our house is comforting. But something about P’s assumption helped me to realize that there are plenty of times I do NOT want to always favor the homebody routine. (We’ll see how that goes). But the point is that we went to see P and B. We had dinner and apple/mango cocktails and a nice evening of hanging out talking. Now I’m home sitting up waiting for my body to process what I ate and I’m thinking about experiences and doing things and I’m reflecting on people’s auras. (Thanks, Andy!)
So let’s talk about P. P is someone whose aura radiates inspiration. Every time I interact with him I either learn something or consider something in a way I never expected. He is such a natural person and seems very in touch with all of his varied parts. If you spend an evening with him you would be impressed by his warmth and hospitality, you would be jealous of his pitch-perfect design sense and marvel at how cozy he made his new home, you would be entertained by his stories, and more than likely you would get a sense of his multi-faceted existence. But you wouldn’t be able to tell the success and glamour he has had in the past, the famous people he knows and the fancy things he has created. And I say you wouldn’t because of his humility. His presence in the moment. His radiant aura. P is one of the few truly creative people I’ve been lucky to meet and it is hard for me not to marvel at him from time to time.
So having begun with Andy’s quote and finishing with a brief appreciation of P I must now summarize this little November wrap-up by saying that I am glad that I began this writing process because I can definitely feel the benefits of spending my time with words. Over these thirty days I have processed a lot and had many conversations I may not otherwise have attempted. I feel like I know myself a wee bit better and have a better grasp on what my goals may be. The reason I fill in the wordless gaps with quotes and pictures and descriptions of people I admire is that I am always slowly (but surely) working to understand my conscious existence and how it develops. I seem to be doing this because I am compelled to bend this understanding into lovely little word forms as a way to become more in touch with my varied parts and try and express them to the rest of you. The end result of that is another thing I will have to wait a bit to see.
Me and Mr. Jones 