Dear Tony,

Well, it’s been five months since we’ve been together, and I thought I would take a few minutes to let you know how special our blog is to me (and the rest of the world). Whether it be the explicit stories, the stylish interludes, or the elegant quoting, it seems you always have something meaningful to share with your growing legion of fans.

And I have learned some things, too. For instance, there is no reason to stop drinking when the alcohol is gone because there’s always more to swallow in the medicine cabinet. Also, I now know that you don’t need any excuse to put on your finest feathers, and once you have them on the only logical thing to do is take them off and get nasty.

But you should know that I am not the only one learning–you are impacting the universe in a fabulous way. To prove it, I’ve invited some friends to share their favorite memories of you. (HINT HINT–THAT MEANS YOU, READER, GO AHEAD AND LEAVE US A COMMENT BELOW! BE ANONYMOUS IF YOU MUST, IT DOESN’T MATTER AS LONG AS YOU ARE COMPLIMENTARY!)

Tony, you are an inspiration. I raise my glass to you, and my bottle, and my flask, and last night’s keg. I hope you enjoy all of the frenzied feedback from your fans. I know I will…