Developing one’s sexuality is similar to reading a book. Well, at least for me it has read like a Choose Your Own Adventure story. It begins with a young boy witnessing his cousin peeing in an alley, and ends with that same boy all grown up and living with a man. The curiosity and desire have remained untouched, but the context has shifted somewhat. It used to be centered between his legs, but now it thrives within his head.

What amazes me about this story is the fact that this boy knew at a very early age who and what it was he desired. However, he also was aware of the fact that he could not tell another soul. Not his sister. Not his cousin. Not the boys he fell in love with. No, this was a tale he had to keep to himself.

The alleyway in which he first saw a man’s pubic hair has probably covered itself in ivy or filth, but this memory sparkles in my mind. Josh stood along the wall and unbuttoned his pants. I suppose I should have been peeing as well, but I was too busy watching him. Simply tufts of hair, black and curly, I’ve seen similar tufts many times since but I can’t remember anything quite as beautiful.

If you would like the young boy to forget what he saw and go about his own business and hang out in a normal way with his cousin then you are straight and can’t relate at all and should be reading another blog. If you would like him to hang out normally that afternoon but continually play out the scene for many years to come in his fantasies, and then rush to the library to learn about all of the secondary sex characteristics he has to look forward to and lust after then continue reading the next installment.