Would you like to be SAVED?

The doorbell just rang. It was a man, we’ll call him Henry, who was going door to door telling people about his christian belief system and inviting me to reserve my place in heaven. Henry was acting as a representative of a First Baptist Church located in the next city over. He probably talked for a full 7 minutes, telling me all about why he wanted to go to heaven, and why he wanted me to come with him. He prayed, gave me a brochure, and asked me a series of questions. He caught me off guard. He smelled of aftershave, something relatively common and inexpensive but still pleasant. About 3/4 of the time he stood at my door, I was trying to figure out if it was the same aftershave my father used.

I hate to admit it, but I faltered twice. Once when he asked me what I thought happened after we died, and once when he asked me if I would ever go to his church. The first question caused me to think about Tim Burton’s “Corpse Bride” in which the title character carries a magot around inside her head who occasionally sings. After stifling a laugh I only managed to say, “Um, I’m not sure. It doesn’t really concern me.” which was a trite response at best. To the second question, about attending church, I really wanted to say “Hell no!” (which seemed apt considering our conversation) but instead I only managed “Not likely.” Why did I hesitate? Why did I not want to offend this man who was slightly offending me by spreading his faith-by-threat-of-hell all around my peaceful street? Some of it was simply laziness on my part, and the realization that just as nothing he could say would mean anything to me, nothing I could say would really enlighten him. Also, I thought he smelled nice and was enjoying the distraction.

So, dear Henry, wherever you may be, you should know that I wasn’t trying to be rude by dismissing you so callously and not pretending to be more frightened by your threats of eternal damnation. I just didn’t want to waste our time, especially since my boyfriend was napping upstairs and I was anxious to join him. I’m sure you understand…


About German Jones

I am a librarian by day; I do all sorts of things at night.
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One Response to Would you like to be SAVED?

  1. trubochist says:

    May the Virgin be with you.- your devout Catholic

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