“As glamorous as it all sounds, getting your nose pierced is very undignified. The guy used a long metal clamp to pull my nostril far out to the side before sticking it with a needle. He said I have unusually small nostrils; at what other time in your life would a stranger tell you this? Immediately after, my friend took me out for a glass of wine. I sat there sipping with a bloody, splotchy, angry-red face. Today, I still have dried blood all around the base of the stud, a lovely scab that must not be disturbed.

But…I feel beautiful.”

These words from Carrie Lynn. I have a lot to say about Carrie, many stories, but now I need to simply state that I concur. I’ve had my nose pierced twice, and she described it perfectly. There is no better, more sensible (in our opinion) place to stick your metal ornament. And no more awkward or painful place either.

My first piercing (I had a perfect silver hoop in my left nostril) was bumped, tugged, sneezed, and infected for months and months before I finally removed the offending metal obstruction. It’s hard to vigorously make out and remove clothing when you’ve protruded on your protuberance.

My second piercing was a more thought-out impulse (I decided a day before I had it done, rather than just an hour) in my third year of college. I already knew the tenderness involved, but had not accounted for the pain of scar-tissue. I re-pierced the left nostril, and spent a good six months catering to and displaying my pleasurable penetration. I don’t even remember where or why it finally went. But the memory and desire have never faded.