Last Thursday afternoon, after a year + of anxiety, stress, arguing, counseling, denial, and drinking…. Thom finally confessed to his infidelity. And what a confession: using slight of hand to have me focused on one man, he’d actually also been doing much worse with another. Both were friends. The one Thom had been fucking in total secret was a close friend. It was a painful weekend, but in a way it was so oddly relaxing.
Finally, we can talk and he can’t make me feel like I’m crazy. Finally, there is some no-holds-barred honesty. Finally, though oddly placed, there was some intense connection and love. Finally, I’ve been able to release all my pain I’ve been carrying for so long.
I have no idea where this leaves me or what happens now. I have to deal with how badly I’ve been treated and if my love can outshine that treatment. I have to try and get healthy after so much stress and alcohol. Thom and I must try and rebuild a whole new relationship if that’s what we decide. I have to let myself feel it all.