Category Archives: journal

In keeping with my habit of using chemicals to fix things… today I began taking Lexapro again on the advice of my doctor and therapist. (And to the delight of Thom.) The first time I took this medication was 12 … Continue reading →

Woke up early. Settled my emotions. Accomplished everything on my to do list including car maintenance, hair cut, just a few glasses of wine, and cleaning up. Had a good conversation. A nice trip with Thom to the airport for … Continue reading →

The beginning of this year, January 1st to be exact, I got some acute illness and spent the day vomiting and laying in bed. On that day, I didn’t have a drink. Now over 6 months later, I have achieved … Continue reading →

Last Thursday afternoon, after a year + of anxiety, stress, arguing, counseling, denial, and drinking…. Thom finally confessed to his infidelity. And what a confession: using slight of hand to have me focused on one man, he’d actually also been … Continue reading →

I’ve been waking up with crusty eyes.  I’ve been going to sleep alone.  My body is swollen.  Tonight he said he didn’t want to give me a hug.  We talk about (his) loss or pain.  I drink mine away.  He’s … Continue reading →

What is this? Silence. Exhaustion. Distance. I want to try and cross the distance. But it also seems like I must be the bridge that we walk across. Is it worth it? Am I fighting a lost cause? My fear … Continue reading →

This cycle needs to end.